quarta-feira, agosto 23, 2006


Just to let our fellow readers know, that me and MacGyver are at http://barbeiros.blogspot.com now.

Our best friend Mr Co Adriaanse is there with us as well.

quarta-feira, agosto 09, 2006

We tried, but only You are God…

Sad do FCP a trabalhar
(FCP board of directors receiving Mr.Co's resignation while eating the Club's Assets)

My best friend, Mr. Co Adriaanse,

The recent news were more or less expected and, foremost, inevitable.
Our Best Friend is waving Fc Porto goodbye.
As always in His life and in this blog, you Mr Adriaanse are completely right.

After a tumultuous 2004/05 season, the Fc Porto board was able to convince the World’s best coach (and Football inventor) to bring back the club to glamorous days again. Me and Michael Knight usually don’t interfere in Adriaanse matters because You never really depend on us, even if we are this fantastic pair of super heroes. BUT we know Portugal, we know FC Porto and we know FC Porto board, so we decided that our best friend could use some help here, in this messy country.

As time was going by, Mr. Adriaanse showed us that although we were needed at the beginning, You easily achieved even more that was supposed to do in Your first season here, winning League and Cup. You were able to build a team, gave confidence to the squad and help to affirm some nice players like Helton, Bosingwa, Pepe, Assunção, Lucho, Meireles, Quaresma and more recently Adriano and Anderson. If that does not seems such a big deal, please let us all remind the 2004/05 season and the difficulty that teams elsewhere always have in making up from their ashes.

“Adriaanse” means quality, discipline, stability, education, fair play, player’s development, imagination, quality, honesty, Victory.

After a very good year You started working on this brand new season. You knew very well this time winning “only” in Portugal would not be satisfactory to anyone, especially to You. After the game at the Dragon with Artmedia it became clear your goals in keeping coaching Fc Porto – to reaffirm the club in European Football.

In order to organize properly the squad, You made some clear, evident, honest and fair remarks about what is needed to make an internationally winning team. After dozens of useless internal talks with Fc Porto board You tried to communicate using the press. Maybe they were not understanding Your perfect English and seeing You on Tv maybe they could be able to read the subtitles or record Your words and listen them 100 times till they understand Your savvy words. In Amsterdam tournament You even showed the world two spectacular inventions: the 3-7-0 system and Bruno Alves acting as striker. You, My Lord and Best Friend, may be exaggerated a bit on the press conference afterwards but even God is entitled to His Anger.

The worst blind man is the one who does not want to see, and You, my best friend, were speaking to the fish… As in so many other situations the Fc Porto board quickly swept away Someone who was proving to be valuable.

Mr. Adriaanse, You are leaving because you have principles (actually you invented principles) and because You are confident, have self pride and don’t want to waste energy fighting windmills.

Mr. Adriaanse, you leave Fc Porto in great attitude. You are not like other stupid and coward coaches.
We, Angus MacGyver and Michael Knight, Your best friends can only say THANK YOU Master.

As Fc Porto long and every time supporters we must say: Forgive us, because we have sinned... (although we STILL are not the board).


Angus MacGyver and Michael Knight

terça-feira, agosto 08, 2006

Adriaanse needs a Striker

Hello mister... Pinto da Costa.
Yes, that's right. I'm writting to you right now. The inventor of life and football - my friend Co Adriaanse - has asked for a Striker.

As far as I know, you have said no. And no. AND NO.

Well, my friend MacGyver, can make a bomb out of Chewing gum,
a bit of Mantorras Kneecap (the most rare element on earth), a sock from Jorginho and a Hermano Saraiva DVD of Portugal's history. My friend MacGyver once killed billions of crazy Ants back in the Amazon Jungle.

I don't think i need to mention Kitt's speed, ability to jump and RUN OVER CHAIRMANS THAT DON'T BUY STRIKERS.
I think you get the message.

You have 2 days.

EDIT: Antero Henrique has been seen in Brazil. This means he is probably out buying a Striker for Adriaanse. For that, we have made a new poll.

sexta-feira, julho 28, 2006

2006/2007 Squad

Hello Mister Co.
Since we know that you are very busy preparing the spectacular show for the FCPorto 2006/2007 presentation - you will be doing the piano concert, the magic trick and the soprano voice all at the same time, saving Pinto da Costa from hiring Pedro Burmester, Luís de Matos and that woman that usually sings the more stylized version of our anthem - we are preparing the squad for you. I mean, who stays and... who goes.

Goal Keepers:
Vitor Baía
Pedro Ribeiro

Pedro Emanuel

João Paulo
Lucho Gonzalez
Alan/Diogo Valente

Bruno Moraes

If a new Striker comes on board i say let go of Sokota. I'm sorry for Diogo Valente but he looks dumber than Hugo Almeida - and that's hard. Either him or Alan will have to go.

By the way folks, we released a newer (with more quality) version of THIS post. Enjoy.

terça-feira, julho 25, 2006

Another Brick In The Wall

My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

After the last game with Groningen, me and Michael Knight started working furiously on finding how to solve Bruno Alves problem. It took us a couple of days but we were able to find the solution. The perfect position for him, if you allow me to say so, is:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Indeed! We have contacted Soares da Costa and Bruno Alves will be incorporarted imediatly!

Actually FC Porto made EUR 10 million with this transfer. That was the amount Soares da Costa had to spend to hold him from Israeli hands! Some scouts rumored solid interest from Israel to hire Alves in their recently presented demolishing squad!

By remaining in Portugal he may even end up working on the new "Pavilhão Desportivo" that FC Porto needs.

Oh another happy day!

sexta-feira, julho 21, 2006


Happy Birthday Mister Co. Me and MacGyver wish you a tremendous Birthday!

What to offer to the man that has everything? A Planet? A Star? A book with all of Samora Machel's Speeches?

It's tough.

We will keep offering you our dedication and support.


quinta-feira, julho 20, 2006

Zidane and the Pre Season

The engines are rolling again. The show must go on, even if the outcome is inevitable: The Great Adriaanse, Conqueror of Worlds will win, again.

At the present moment the team stays the same with the addition of 4 new faces. Talking about the quality of the new players is basically, a waste of time. Why? Because they have spent some days with Adriaanse now, so they are bound to be the best players in the universe. Also, it was very generous of you allowing the new Dutch guy to come and learn at your side. And i find it really humble that you did it under the guise of him coming to teach your players. Hilarious. As if they need to know anything else after beeing with you for a year.

Mr Adriaanse, i've used Kitt to try and solve one of the greatest mysteries: What Materrnazi said to Zidane. As usual, Kitt came through and we were able to decipher what he said to Zidane...:

domingo, junho 18, 2006

Drawing the Squad

That's right. Drawing the squad for next season is going to be one of your biggest concerns. Why? Beacause i'm pretty sure that if you work on it 100% you will win all the games you play. So, you are working on achieving the balance between all easy wins, and some excitement. Always worried about the drama and putting a good show! That's my Co.

Cesar Peixoto is a goner. That's good news. He should have been gone years ago. Good call.

If you manage to sell R.Costa, Bruno Alves, Sonkaya and McCarthy (i'd rather keep Benni, he is a good player) and actually make money with the first 3 (!!! wow !!!) it would be great.

I think we need, A striker, a number 10, a winger and 2 full backs. But that's just me. You know what you need, Master of the Universe. I sugest african players. Ivory Coast and Ghana have some of the best players i've seen on the World Cup. I'm sure you are keeping an eye on them.

And this is all. For the readers of this blog, i'll leave you with a LINK to a hidden camera. It's basically Co Adriaanse preparing next season with Reinaldo Teles. Click here.

quinta-feira, maio 18, 2006

The Truth behind the Cup

"For those who do not understand how things happen..."

Just see these last two posts.

Angus MacGyver

segunda-feira, maio 08, 2006

We Love You Because You Are Always Right!

My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

You were so kind to lend a close friend of me your “thoughts-reading machine”.

Usually it is said “an image worth for thousands of words”, that’s why I prepared this snapshot of last Sunday events. Sorry for low quality of the pictures, but only Might Adriaanse knows how to operate this machine! Please click here to get a better view!

This is only to show again to the world that you are the reason the sun rises every day…


Angus MacGyver

segunda-feira, abril 24, 2006


So the outcome that everyone expected since You, Mister Co, was apointed FCPorto's Manager has arrived.

I didn't celebrate the win to be honest. I didn't, there was no thrill for me. I celebrated when they apointed you manager. When the news you were going to be FCPorto's coach arrived i went with my FCPorto scarf and with Kitt to the Aliados Avenue and started cheering and honking. No one understood me back then. I guess they do now.

Now that the win is a reality i'd like us to focus on the game on Penafiel as a good example of what we need for the next season:

- How many times did Ibson gave the ball in perfect conditions for a cross from the left during the game? How many times did that happen? A lot! I lost count! This is obvious a result of your tactical mastery and Ibson's good timing but all those ocasions resulted in nothing. None of the players managed to get in a good cross. Alan had a bad game but i don't want to blame him, i would like to blame the absence of a left winger with a left foot on that side - like Duda.

- Even so the crossing problem, there were more then a couple of goal scoring chances in that game... We obviously have a problem with the finishing. That needs to be resolved for the next season.

- Also, i sugest you speak with Bosingwa and tell him to practice crossing and short passes as well as running with the ball during all his holidays. If he does that with success, he might become a tremendous right back.

For now, lets focus on winning the next 3 games and finishing up with the cup win and the most distance possible from the second spot.

And last but not the least, the next picture is dedicated to the Super Dragões.

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You all smell of dingleberries.

quinta-feira, abril 20, 2006

Oh Adriaanse oh Adriaanse

How are you my friend? I Hope you are hanging there. You have been through such terrible losses, but you can cope. You are strong, you are tough. Anyway, our feelings are with you right now.

Fellow blog readers. We are very sorry for the lack of updates. But... it's hard for us. Think about it, the purpose of this Blog is to help Adriaanse do his job since has so many things going through his mind all the time. But this purpose is silly, he is the best ever. We all knew from the start that he was going to Win this League. We all knew that.
It was pretty funny seeing so many people surprised with his good win at the Lagartarium. It was funny because we all knew he was waiting to win the League on the last big game. Such a clever and sneaky bastard. You have to love him really.

So what's next having outclassed every manager in the Portuguese League this season?
Rumors are placing him in the NBA next season, as a power forward or as the leader of the outer world colony on Perseon V.
The only certain thing is, if he stays in Portugal next season, the champion is already chosen.

terça-feira, março 21, 2006

It’s in your mind!

This Wednesday will be just great. It will be a great opportunity to show the non believers that New Messias has come to Earth again. H.M. All Mighty Co Adriaanse is with us. Praise the Lord.

Some blind and small minded people still don’t recognize the greatness of Our Master. Some see Adriaanse as a great Prophet but they don’t recognize Him as The Truth Himself.

But, people on the Earth, that will change soon! Tomorrow, against Alvalade Lizards His Wisdom, Power, Greatness will emerge. Those unfaithfuls will get what they deserve!

Las night I dreamt that somebody loved me. Adriaanse entered my dreams and explained all about this game. He said, and I quote:

“You know MacGyver, personally I like to play against teams that are in a winning streak as they are very confident, almost too much confident. Confidence, as vanity, is dangerous, my friend.

In the ancient times The Lizards would come to Porto in fear, pain and despair and they eventually loose always as it was difficult to play with shited pants. But now, Mr Bento, the Lizard-Mor will be caught in the opposite mistake – superbia!

Here’s what we are going to do: we’ll start the game smoothly and calmly and they’ll think everything is under control. In my great Mercy I will allow them to almost score twice! Then we’ll start to surprise them – Benny will score in a corner. But the most important part is this: we will get into their nerves! The trick is to force them to make fauls and get yellow cards. Look at Sá Pinto – he is the metaphor of the Lizards Kingdom. Yes he is a fighter, but is simply dumb. And that is what we are going to do tomorrow: We could win the game showing our superiority, but we will trash them using they vanity!

quinta-feira, março 16, 2006

I'm very sorry

I'm very sorry. Really, i am.

First of all let me say congratulations on the enormous win by Porto versus Maritimo. You had to score 5 goals to win 2-1, that's really something. But it's a small feat for the greatest Manager in the World. Nice to see Ibson playing. He is a good lad.

What am i sorry for? Well. You are my best friend and i'm sorry you have to coach in Portugal. And when in Portugal, you have to watch the sad show on the Rapinarium.
That guy that looks like a pimp. You know, the one that owns half of Estoril. Yes, José Veiga. The one that was talking about Vitor Pontes's Mother for 90 minutes.
It has to be hard to endure a full game of a leech insulting everyone. Lets just hope that he didn't say the magic words: "É falta" or he might be punished with 15 days of suspension.

Please forgive me. I should have warned you about this Characters way before you decided to enlight Portugal.

Hope you can cope with such lack of style and class.

quinta-feira, março 09, 2006

Setubal - Porto

Hello Mister Adriaanse!
Fantastic game versus Nacional. Goals were scored, the right substitutions were made and Cech happened. I supose you will use the same team versus Setubal, only remove Meireles and Ivanildo and add P.Assunção and Lisandro/Jorginho/Anderson.

This is the starting line up that i think you are going to use:

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And this is the starting lineup that i think you should use:

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Notice the Red icon on Adriano. It's not a bad thing. It's just that he runs so much and fights so hard... sometimes even too much, so i gave him an Angry smiley. But it's a positive player, no doubt.
The smileys are only there to rate the players. For example, Pedro Emanuel on your lineup should be replaced by Cech, but still he gets a positive smiley because he is a good player.
Please pay attention to the smiley describing Ivanildo. It's VERY important.

Why go back to 4 defenders after a good win vs Nacional? Pretty simple really. During Nacional game Cech sometimes was a left back and sometimes he was a midfielder. Same thing can happen during the course of this new game. It's not how many attackers or people up front you have. It's mostly the mentality of your players and the technical skills to back them up.

P.S.: Good job on saving that Silver Back Gorilla from those poachers. Where do you find time for this? Genius.

quinta-feira, fevereiro 23, 2006


Hello Mr Adriaanse.
First of all. We are very sorry for the shortage of posts. MacGyver has been gone for a long time. I think he's probably saving the world without wanting to take credit for it. Like you for example, with your outstanding work with Pepe and Quaresma - and now slowly, Meireles (what about doing the same with Diego and Hugo Almeida? Turning Hugo Almeida into a good player would be a tremendous challenge. Au pair with Rocket Science and trying to play football on Chelsea's pitch, and you love challenges!)

The most important game on the portuguese league this season is arriving:

Belenenses - Naval.
Will this game trigger a string of defeats for Naval ending with another manager out of work?
Will Couceiro learn how to coach, finaly? Who knows. This are questions that neither us or the Great Co Adriaanse (you) can answer!

By the way, we are playing versus benfica in the Rapinarium.
May I humbly sugest that independently of the tactic you might use (3 or 4 defenders) that Cech plays on the left? If you really want Pedro Emanuel to play field him on the right side (if 3 defenders). The ball just runs along better if there's someone on the left playing with the left foot.
Other than that, everything is fine.

quinta-feira, fevereiro 16, 2006

Thank you Mr. Adriaanse!

My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

We all have to thank you for not being in the UEFA CUP anymore.

Just imagine if we’ve had to play in Bulgaria against powerful Litex…

Things are getting nasty around there.

Artmedia boys were so nervous playing yesterday just thinking about the 2nd leg!

Well but Litex it’s a powerful European team anyway (#150, see also #138)…

This is a dangerous world we live on nowadays… Luckily we have YOU and THIS GUY to save our skin.

Praise the Lord, Alleluia!


Angus MacGyver

P.S. - Also notice AZ > slb. This is Co!

terça-feira, fevereiro 14, 2006


segunda-feira, fevereiro 13, 2006


Hello Mr Co.
Fantastic game vs Belenenses. Fantastic game.

Maritimo next weekend!
Not having Pepe and Quaresma probably means you have to switch the system a bit. Neither of our central backs have the capacity to play like Pepe does. So I sugest (and it's a mere sugestion, no one can scratch your greatness):

- Include P.Emanuel and (Sigh!) R.Costa in the team.
- Remove Ivanildo
- Add Diego for some creativity
- Hello Alan!
- Maybe it's time for Anderson to get a chance as well, since Quaresma isn't going to play.

sexta-feira, fevereiro 10, 2006

¡ Back from Zaragoza !

My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

I apologize for being away for some days but my help was requested by my great friend Victor Muñoz to achieve something impossible – to knock out Barcelona from cup in Nou Camp and get to the final. As you are by far the better coach in the world I assumed you’d probably not miss me.

By the way I recently discovered that while asleep you are almost as good as awake, which is odd, but explains perfectly why FCP bench players were still sat at 75 minutes in the last game…

I had not to much time to prepare the game with Barça so I used the old but effective benfica’s way and it worked!!! For this next game with Real Madrid I was able to prepare Zaragoza team, especially Diego Milito who I teach how to carry to the field and use a Swiss-army knife!

So what to say about last game with Braga and next one with Belém?

Nothing to say actually… Every week FCP is 1 more point ahead at the league and everything is ok, the team is fit, the system is completely tuned up, free-kicks and corners are almost certain goals so… why don’t you give the squad another couple of holidays?


Angus MacGyver

segunda-feira, fevereiro 06, 2006

Paulo Assunção

Hey Mister Adriaanse. I recently had a word with Paulo Assunção and I must say I'm really worried about this fundamental pawn of the FCPorto chess table.

Aparently, it seems that since the Rio Ave game, Assunção has been waking up in the middle of the night after having nightmares on which he is naked in a football field shouting:

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Over and over again. I think this is a result of the stressfull 3 defenders system you have been using lately. Time for a change before his brain melts I believe.

Also, I have discovered something equally frightning. Paulo Assunção has been playing as Striker in União de Leiria, under the alias of "Paulo César".
My guess is that he loves football so much, that he has to play twice per weekend to feel fully satisfied. You should look into this.

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My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

I was cleaning some stuff in my closet at Phoenix Foundation today and I found a KISS FM bumper stick (see above). I got it from this gorgeous blond haired British tramp in Albufeira on a very late 80’s holidays there!

Those were simple days… (getting) laid on the beach till sunset, dining at any trashy restaurant and then going to KISS disco where I can say I have seen everything. If one was not lucky enough to pick up a scandinavian girl, we might try to be kind enough and listen to our Portuguese girlfriends complaining about how foreign girls behave like sluts, and of course KISS them…

So the main word here is KISS!

Find out here exactly what I mean. You see… FC Porto is already 4 points ahead after that hilarious game in Leiria (actually with was more a Costinhous game) and we might get 7 points ahead later today!

So please don’t try to invent too much and forget all about that rubbish that is surrounding the club. This championship will be YOUR victory, as every championship and titles you have already won.

Summing up:

- Use the best players in the beginning of the game; don’t save for a disadvantage you can avoid.
- Use Emanuel on the first eleven;
- Four defences and a strong midfield, use Lucho if he’s fit;
- Use Quaresma and Ivanlido as Lizandro is acting funny lately;
- Keep Adriano, but be ready to give Benny an early chance;
- Consider Ibson;
- Forget about Diego to act as playmaker, either you put it ahead or leave it at bench;
- Try to win this game from the start;
- Don’t forget Braga is an astute team!

So it goes like this: remember KISS is the best of life!


Angus MacGyver

terça-feira, janeiro 31, 2006

90 Minutes

Hello my friend, Co Adriaanse. First of all, if you need a car, you can stop by my house and i'll lend you Kitt for a while.

On today's post i'm gonna explain to you how FCPorto should always play the game (and how has played in the past).
FCPorto would always start the games, from the first minute to the last, pressuring the other team. In fact, in the days of Frasco, André, Rui Barros, Pacheco, the pressure would be so high that in a large majority of the games, FCPorto would be winning in the first 20/30 minutes.
That's Porto. Pressure, Will, Strenght. When your team runs and battles atleast the same of what the other team does, the difference in skill will rise and the best team will emerge victorious.
Look at Barcelona. Tons of star players, but besides Ronaldinho (who runs a LOT in attacking plays while his friend at Real Madrid (fat ronaldo) doesn't run neither in defensive or offensive plays), every single player of that team gives 100%.
So, stop losing 45 minutes of the game. Start from minute one. I'm sure the players will follow your command. You are Co Adriaanse, destroyer and maker of Worlds.

P.S.: 3 defenders is for the Dutch League. You are in Portugal now. Stop making things harder.

domingo, janeiro 29, 2006

A game for you, my friend!

My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

Fc Porto is happily and comfortably on top of the betandwin league, the games ahead are easy enough and there is nothing to practice anymore!

So why don’t you reward yourself and the squad with another holiday period?

As I know you are bit stressful with global warming issues, I present you with a little something I think you will enjoy!

Follow this link http://en.freekick.uefa.com/freekick/en/en_terms.html and enjoy yourself!

Just choose YES and YES and confirm. Then pick GUEST, and you will find out about the importance of good free-kicking shooting! (*)

Something that you, the greatest coach ever, of course know for a long time!


Angus MacGyver

(*) - If you really want to go deep on this, log in and you’ll see some great shots!

quinta-feira, janeiro 26, 2006

Firing Your Boss (*)

My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

You probably remember my old boss at Phoenix Foundation Pete Thornton, who is also commonly known as my best friend, which obviously he was not, just because you are the one.

He was a great boss and even blind he was seeing a lot more then others… Maybe we ALL should learn a bit from him, as sometimes I see some substitutions that Pete would never miss!

But let me get to the point. Peter was not my first boss. I started my career being a plummer at City Hall, under Mr. Loureiro command. The Mayor, or Major (I still don’t know what to call him) was this funny character, dynamic and smart. But he was kind of corrupt, small minded, grotesque, surrounded by strange people, and lots of times completely loosing all focus of his job and responsabilities.

I did not want to be part of that, so I fired my boss!

So why don't you consider firing your boss? (*)

Best friends must be sincere and I have to say I do not like what his happening at FC Porto this last weeks… you see:

- They insist with this stupid discussion with benfica guys, specially this Reinaldo against the Veiga Boy. In no time some Estonian girls (with all do respect) will tell in the newspapers about the night they spent with both of them at Little Star Pension.
- Jorge Costa is out and it seems they wanted this way – reading what they say about book’s preface… but that was something you helped happen, just for fun.
- They’ll loose Vítor Baía as a player and a club milestone, something you helped happen just for fun.
- They say Postiga is no good and in December they needed a striker, something you helped happen just for fun.
- They find it acceptable to be out of Champions League after 1st round, that thing you did just for fun.
- They don’t get mad if you, just for fun, say that loosing at AmateurStars 2-1 was not a bad result…
- So many many other things…

So do you want to stay connected to these people?

So why aren't you firing your boss? (*)

This guy did it and he’s doing quite ok…


Angus MacGyver

(*) - in the end of the season, please.

Poll results and new poll

Hello Mr Adriaanse and fellow Adriaanse fans. This were the results for the first poll on this site:

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As you can all see, with a spanking 62%, All of the Above won the poll. I couldn't agree more with the outcome of this poll.
There's a new poll on the site now. "How long should Co coach Porto?" is the new theme. Please vote and leave your comments on the news posts.

On a side note, rumours have it that Co Adriaanse ran the 100 meters in 7,5 seconds on the past monday Porto's training session.

segunda-feira, janeiro 23, 2006

P.Emanuel, Diego, P.Assunção, Benched.

Enjoy Portuguese Wine!

My best friend, Mr. C0 Adriaanse,

Amazingly you are still suspended for another week. So, being football issues not a worry – FC Porto is playing lovely, achieving crashing victorious – I invite you to know a bit more of Portugal.

Let me present you to Portuguese wines – one of the most important traditions of this country. I learned about them when I was in holidays with Nikki Carpenter in Foz Coa. Those were the days…
I even drew our names in the rocks there! Some years after some Portuguese government recognized my talent and cancelled their plans for a dam there!

"The Portuguese wines are part of ancient traditions inserted in the region firstly by the Phoenicians, Carthaginians, and Greeks. Long before the Roman rule over the region, who will also substantially influence in wine production. During this era, is where the Portuguese wines started to be exported to Rome. Today, Portugal is a traditional wine grower with 8% of its continental land dedicated to winery! "

My favorite wines come from vineyards that grow in the Douro valley. From those I really enjoy “Cabeça de Burro” just because “the taste is round in your mouth, reinforcing the sensations the aroma gives you. It's also well structured with really soft tannin that contributes to his global balance".

I deeply recommend you to try this “Cabeça de Burro”, this wine is sooooo you!

So try it and leave the traditional dutch dope! At least that way you won’t take those "stoned decisions" like:
- playing with 3 defences;
- leaving Emanuel, Diego and Assunção at the bench;
- replacing Baía after ONE poor game, sending the wrong signal to the squad an ruining his 400th game party;
- letting Alan on pitch more then 45 minutes;
- well, you know better than me what dutch dope can make to your brain…


Angus MacGyver

sexta-feira, janeiro 20, 2006

Welcome to Portugal

Hello Mister Adriaanse. I know this comes in a bit late but... it's never too late.
Welcome to Portugal.

Don't get me wrong. I love Portuguese people, especially the ones on the north side of the Douro river. But there's something really wrong with this country. Really, really wrong.

First of all, don't get me wrong. This doesn't happen only in football. Happens in everything. Basically, if by chance you were born or work for anything Lisbon related, you have a "get out of jail free pass". It's pretty sad but that's how it works.
For example, that clown that manages Naval spent the whole of the last season, as the second coach of benfica, shouting all kinds of things at the refs (all kinds of things but not "It's a foul!", that's for sure) and nothing happened. You on the other hand shout "it's a foul!!" when a Naval defender almost ripped Cechs foot off, and you get 15 days of suspension.
For example, Costinha makes a nasty gesture towards the crowd (he grabbed his own testicles) on Guimaraes, and gets 2 games suspension (fair enough). Nuno Gomes makes a gesture that implies that Nem and the Braga players use drugs to intensify their capabilities and... gets a money fine that will prolly mean he won't go to the hairdresser 20 times this week, only 19.

So now you know how the country works. I am very sorry for the lateness on warning you about this.

Enough about this matter. Let me remind you of a few things for the next game on saturday:

a) Adriano scored 2 goals on his debut. Even if he can only last one half, field him on the lineup. Better to have him scoring soon then rushing for a late goal that may never come.
b) How about fielding Helder Barbosa?.

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terça-feira, janeiro 17, 2006

The Duct Tape Enigma

Dear Mr. Adriaanse, my best friend,

I confess I was a bit puzzled on your latest comments after Sunday’s funny effort to bring some emotion to the Betadine League.

I really didn’t understand what was crossing your mind saying that loosing with AmateurStars was not a bad result.

Gosh! You are so ingenious! I suddenly realize you just were paying tribute to me, this old and faithful friend of yours!

Forgive me if this was meant to be only an internal joke, but I will try to explain mortals what has happened, just because I am your best friend, Don Adriaanse King of Iberia.

As you all know I am widely known to make the day using some trivial materials. One of my favourites is Duct Tape as you can see here and I am the old member of the The Great Duct Tape Hall of Fame (which by the way is in decline because of this and this).

Being obviously victorious against Naval already twice this year (playing away!) Mr. Co decided to raise the stake and now he wants to win Saturday, managing the FC Porto squad silently.

As SAD board dumbly wouldn’t understand the challenge, the only way Mr. Co had to spice up Saturday’s game was forcing SAD to act like White House officials towards George W. Bush, also paying tribute to me, “this non-violent conflict resolution action hero”, as you can see above

Hope the SAD understands your will and act like they should, and use the Duct Tape!


Angus MacGyver

Blog Updates

Just a quick post to warn our visitors about the two new "features" on the site:

- There's a poll on the bottom of the right menu now. Go ahead and vote.
- Everyone is free to comment now. Registration is not required.

Also, as you probably have noticed by now - if you are a regular visitor - this blog is updated quite often, so add us to your bookmarks.

Rumours that i have been posting on this blog while working on the Knight Foundation are totally false, i swear.

segunda-feira, janeiro 16, 2006

I confess – “It was my entire fault!”

Today the planet woke up confused, astonished and insecure.

The Sun is shy and people are looking above trying to understand this “brave new world”. Children are still staring at their parents with hardly-held tears, demanding an answer, suffering with this painful question:

Has Adriaanse lost it?
What has happened yesterday at the Porcalhota Swamp?

As everyone knows I am Mr. Adriaanse best friend and my second best friend is the world.
Sometimes I try the two of them to get along, so I have to confess – it was my entire fault…

I admit I often abuse Mr. Co greatness, capacity, creativity and geniality to save the free world, helping me on my daily tasks. That was why I asked him to help me on something very important.

The truth is that Mister Co spent all week working on a new cheap and ecologic power source and had no time to plan yesterday’s game.

So it’s not his fault that FC Porto players went to the pitch knowing less than nothing about the opposite side. Probably they weren't respecting the rival as they were called AmateurStars, which could be a great internet website, but even if you are the best army – which they are not – commanded by the best of the generals – which they are – you could be surprised!

So, if anyone is thinking that Mr. Co should have briefed FC Porto players:
- about Manu or Semedo moves;
- on AmateurStars dynamics, specially on the need of fill spaces between midfield and defence; they are not very skilled but they are quick and organized;
- about the need of having some strong men above, as the AmateurStars defenders are some suburban remake of King Kong;
- on the nonsense of stupid foot goal-keeping;
- about how they should organize attack as so well my almost best friend Michael Knight well stated below;
- about other stuff that clearly shows Mr. Co was not able to prepare the game…

So if you heretically think on some mishandling of Mr. Co just forget that because it was my entire fault, I led Mr. Adriaanse towards other paths…

So forgive me as I have sinned…


Angus MacGyver

P.S. – The fact that AmateurStars played more or less the same way at the Dragon, almost achieving a good result had a similar explanation. At that time Mr Co Adriaanse was helping Michael Knight on some Rebecca Holden hormonal problems and it was his holographic replica that sat at the bench that day… That’s why Fc Porto WAS NOT ABLE TO LEARN A SINGLE THING from that game…

Michael Knight to the Rescue

Hello Mister Co. I saw your cry for help on the first half of the last Porto game and here i am.

I'm going to explain you something - that i am sure you obviously know, but you probably forgot because you have too much on your mind, like re-inventing football, world peace, space travel, etc:
Personally, i love football with wingers. I think that's how the game is meant to be played. Open, wide, with 2 wingers stretching the field and creating spaces. The thing is my friend, having no striker makes the 2 wingers work totally useless. It's like if i install 2 new machine guns on Kitt, but with no ammunition. Pointless.
Lisandro is no striker and today, Lisandro is nothing at all. I know that you would rather burn all of Holland's Windmills than field Hugo Almeida in the first team, but as much as i hate to admit it, you have to do it (atleast untill Adriano can play). At least he battles for the space and stays on the striker place, while Lisandro runs like a headless chicken everywhere (everywhere but the Striker position).
Yes, i know H.Almeida is an aberration. But if you field the 2 wingers, you need someone there. Or else you will have the wingers crossing and Lucho showing up at the first post, letting the ball go so someone can finish off the play. That happened sometimes on the first half, with no one finishing, because the STRIKER needs to go for the first ball and Lucho is the one that needs to show up from behind.
And that's why having Hugo Almeida is better (or less bad) than having no real striker figure at all.
Atleast untill Adriano can play.

But you knew this, you were just busy with other things.

sexta-feira, janeiro 13, 2006

Diego, a fallen angel

Last Monday I had this normal, routine day...
I was chasing Mr. Amonia – a wicked psychopath that last year wanted to poison all public water in San Diego – and I suddenly tripped on this racoon hole and I quickly tasted grass…

“Luckily” (heroes like me and Mr. Adriaanse are not lucky, we are talented) my Swiss army knifed shot from my hand catching evil Amonia right in the spinal cord, paralysing him…
With the game against Boavista still in my mind, it came to me:


Well not really Diego, you still need someone else to take the free kick, but I suddenly realise that FC Porto could use this strategy to get 1 more goal/game.

Mr. Adriaanse, your friend MacGyver is kindly asking you to think on the possibility of making Diego play a bit advanced. A bit nearer to the box, where we could be fouled enough to get some nice free kicks, pick some yellow cards… or even a penalty!

Nahhhh it is not that pretty to win on a penalty kick…


Angus MacGyver

I will be back to the Diego theme in the future, I think that is not playing exactly on the right position, but of course it is Diego fault… he is always running away from the ball... chicken Diego!

Short Corners

Hello Mr. Adriaanse. Put the clogs and take a walk with me on the subject of short corners.
FCPorto corner taking this season is a vast improvement from the past years - another display of tactical mastery by Holland's finest. But i think we can still improve on that matter.

You have to totally forbid the use of short corners. I must have seen 50000000 short corners in my life (Kitt usually records the games for me when i'm busy saving the world) half of them taken by Deco. Of those 50000000, 50% end with the defense blocking the play. 49% of those end with a dangerous counter attack and 1% end in Goal.

You can easily see - since you even taught Mathematics to Einstein back in the day - that it doesn't compensate the risk.

So forbid the taking of short corners and punish whoever goes against your rules (the Whip comes in mind).

This is the final step. Everything else is perfect right now - because it's not your fault when a player fails the shot.

My Best friend!

Hello Mr Adriaanse!
I am MacGyver and I am your best friend.
Obviously you remember me!
In the late 80’s I was the guy solving all the crises with a late “hat-trick”, so I became very handy to the world.
More or less an intelligent version of Quaresma, and a little less gipsy!
My best friend, now you have not one but three guys giving you the edge!

Angus MacGyver and Michael Knight are here to help you.

One month ago we declined a 5 billion dollars/season contract from Abramovich because we think the guy that works for him doesn’t have the potential. Besides he’s not our friend!

Adriaanse Best Friend

Welcome to home of Adriaanse Best Friend. I am Michael Knight.
This is an introductory post to the full purpose of this blog. Myself and MacGyver are Co Adriaanse's best friends. That's a fact. We are going to help him make our favourite team - FCPorto - the best team in the world. He really doesn't need our help, but we are so kind in our hearts that we feel we have to give all the insight we can to make his job easier.
Anyway, i hope you enjoy this Co, since it's for you. For the general readers here i leave you with a small FAQ about this site:

Q.: Does Co Adriaanse really need help?
A.: No he doesn't. We are just being kind.

Q.: Did Co Adriaanse really invent Football?
A.: Yes he did. When he was 20 years old he invented a Time Machine that ported him back in time to invent football.

Q.: Are MacGyver and Michael Knight really fans of FC Porto?
A.: Yes they are. Whenever MacGyver isn't saving the world with a piece of wire, a can of baked beans and chewing gum he can be seen rooting for Porto at the Dragon Stadium. Michael Knight usually watches the games from a mini screen on Kitt.

Enjoy the blog.

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